Things I really Hate:

If you think about it aren’t there just some little things that bother you
about other people? You try to get along, let everyone have their way, in
pursuit of their own bliss, but some things in this crowded society just bug
me so bad I have to comment. It is for the catharsis of confession that I
relate these most private idiosyncratic dislikes:

Don’t you just hate it:

When people add an S to a single word, like when ordering "a Millers", or,
"a Heinekens?"

When people use an X in place of soft consonants, like "Ax me a question?"
Or "If you ax me, I will tell you how to order an eXpresso?"

Don’t you hate people who add R’s to words, like vaniller or warsh?

Don’t you hate it when people ketchup down their fried or scrambled eggs?

How much don’t you like the other family at weddings?

Don’t you hate it when you have to sit at their little persons table?
Don’t you hate it when one of the old guard of the other family condescendingly
points out that Junior college is a good place to start, until you get accepted
to a real college?

How much do you hate other people’s household rules? 
 
If the rule is on a sign, is it supposed to be funny? And don’t you hate thinking
twice about whether everyone paid attention to the sign...before you go into the
pool?

For this reason don’t you hate other people’s heated pools?

Don’t you hate sharing appetizers with someone when you are going to split the
bill?
Don’t you hate people who order appetizers and drinks and desserts precisely
because they know they will be splitting the bill with you?

Don’t you just hate people who read your newspaper before you...and then
want to tell you about it...before you get a chance to read it?

Don’t you just hate people who laugh at their own jokes?

Don’t you just hate people who tell jokes that aren’t funny?

Don’t you just hate listening to someone’s cell phone call in a public place?

Don’t you just hate listening to their half-baked explanations and observations
when you are out to spend money on a good time?
  
Don't you hate people intruding in your space to take photographs?

Don't you hate having to worry about whether you are spoiling someone's video
shot?

Don’t you hate People who stand up to view the procession at graduations?
Don’t you hate listening to their complaints about what they can’t see?
Don’t they realize if everyone kept in their seats, then everyone could see?

Don’t you hate people who raise their camera over their head to take a photo?
Don’t you hate people talking on their cell phones while waiting at the checkout
in stores?

Don’t you hate an employee who takes a phone call at the counter where you are
waiting to be served?

Don’t you just hate the line at the Deli counter in the food store?
Don’t you hate people who order ¼ lb. of five different things?

Don’t you hate everyone calling you by your first name at the Doctor’s office?

Don’t you hate people who say "Could you wait a sec?"
Don’t you hate that it is always a longer wait, in minutes, rather than a couple
of seconds?
Don’t you hate that it is so damned predictable?
Don’t you hate that you have to talk about it??

Now, doesn’t that make you feel better?
Don’t you hate people who say, "Now, doesn’t that make you feel better?"

Thanks for your attention, sports fans.


Gerard A. Geiger  1, Feb. 2006

Read from my published works;   The Complete Poetical Works   Listening to the Corn

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